


Care Not Taken

by grasssea



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Chloe is Surrounded By Terrible People, Gen, Multiple Babysitters, Sometimes Chloe is One Of The Terrible People
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 18:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6918013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grasssea/pseuds/grasssea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two working parents in LA need a lot of backup. Fortunately Trixie Decker has a rotating roster of babysitters. Less fortunately she also has a rotating roster of friends and relatives willing to destroy them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Care Not Taken

**Author's Note:**

> Penelope Decker is impossible to write and may have turned out too mean. Old ladies are terrible sometimes. Love to everyone in this great fandom especially commenters.

Lucifer waited until the screaming stopped to ask again, politely, “Is Detective Decker here?”

“How’d you get into the house?” the babysitter wailed, quieter but not quiet enough. She was going to wake the neighbours.

“I have an affinity with locks.” he explained. “Much like women, they just come undone around me. I assume you’re the child watcher?”

“It’s eleven o’clock at night.” Rosanna Rodriguez, professional on call babysitter said in a tone of terror and outrage. “I don’t know who you are, but you need to leave or I’ll call the police!”

Sometimes panic could override even Lucifer’s charms, and it was terribly inconvenient when it did. He smiled placatingly.

“I’m afraid there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding. I work with the detective and I needed to speak to her about something. Since no policewoman could sleep through the racket you just put up, I’ll assume she’s not home. Would you mind if I left a message?”

The woman hesitated and then dived for the antiquated land line.

Lucifer caught her by the waist and stared into her eyes. “Darling, please don’t do that, I’ll get in an awful lot of trouble with Chloe if you do. Look, how about I give you this,” he waved a hundred dollar bill helpfully, “And we both pretend you weren’t so difficult about the whole thing, deal? Tell me, don’t you want to?”

His Spanish wasn’t splendid, but he knew enough to translate the strangled whisper of, “I really want to punch you in the face.”

It helped that she followed it up by punching it in the face.

“Bloody hell!” Lucifer reeled back, clutching his nose. Rosanna looked shocked, like she hadn’t quite expected the blow to connect, which at least kept her from going for the phone again. It was this tableau that Trixie walked in on.

“Lucifer!” she squealed, advancing like a tidal wave. “What are you doing here?”

He backed into the kitchen counter, hands up like he could ward off elementary aged evil.

“Trixie?” Rosanna said cautiously, edging around to try to play interference between the intruder and the minor charge, “Do you know him?”

“This is Lucifer.” Trixie said, “He’s my mom’s friend.”

“Thank you!” Lucifer said. “Now, if I can leave without being further assaulted or having the police called on me….”

 

“I cannot believe you got me put on the black books for an entire babysitting agency.” Chloe whined later. “Do you know how hard it is to get short notice trustworthy babysitters? You’re lucky you didn’t end up in jail for trespassing.”

“She’s lucky I didn’t sue.” Lucifer groused. “This sort of face doesn’t deserve that sort of abuse. Nice job finding someone with unshakeable morals and a good right hook though. Usually I can charm my way out of that sort of thing.”

“The fact that she ran the agency I’m now banned from with her wife might have helped.” Chloe suggested, shaking her head slowly. “You’re a piece of work.”

“Every inch, detective.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Trixie was, all things considered, a fairly even keeled child. But she had a strong stubborn streak, courtesy of her parents, and that tended to make bedtimes difficult, especially for tired college student babysitters, swiftly drafted to cover for parents working late.

“I’m going to rip out your entrails!” Trixie sobbed, eyes red as she kicked at the helpful hands attempting to assist her into her pajamas. Eight was a good age for tantrums, big enough to fight but still young enough to be justifiably irrational.

That made her caretaker pause. “Beatrice, do you even know what entrails are?”

Trixie wiped at her running nose and sniffed pathetically, still wary of any bedtime ambitions. “Hair?”

Amani ran a hand through her braids and sighed. “No, they’re like, your insides. Your guts and stuff. And that’s a really awful thing to say. Where’d you hear it?”

“My friend Maze says if people are mean to me I should say I’ll rip out their entrails.” Trixie explained, contrite. “I didn’t mean it. But I don’t want to go to sleep, I want to stay up to wait for Mommy!”

“You have school tomorrow.” Amani said, crouching in front of the couch. “I have school tomorrow too. We already waited up an hour, you’re tired and not thinking straight. You need to go to bed.”

Trixie remained tucked in the corner of the couch, arms crossed and legs ready to kick. “Nooooo.”

“Yes.” Amani insisted, reaching out to grab Trixie with the intention of enforcing bedtime liberally.

“No!” Trixie waved her arms warningly, “Maybe I should rip out your entrails.” she added on an impulse, looking at her caretaker. Her head was tilted down, her eyes half lidded, very much the kid in the horror movie you didn’t want to cross. Amani, something of a horror movie aficionado, recoiled.

“Beatrice! That’s still a terrible thing to say! Your friend must not be a very nice person.”

“Maze is a demon from hell.” Trixie said, sensing a weak spot and going for it, like a pouncing lioness. “She works for the Devil. So you should let me stay up.” Chloe had tried to explain to Trixie that Maze and Lucifer were just really silly, and even if Trixie didn’t believe quite believe it she had agreed not to talk about their claims to come from hell in mixed company. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

Amani’s eyes narrowed. “I’m sure you don’t know an actual demon.” she said, but there was doubt in her voice. She was studying law, and she’d always had a soft spot for the weird historical cases, which meant a lot of reading into medieval witch trials and religious jurisdiction. In between that and last week’s Friday the 13th marathon with her boyfriend, she was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

“I do,” Trixie insisted. “She calls me sometimes on the phone and we talk. Look, I can prove it.” She snatched her Iphone off the side table, still watching her babysitter with care in case it was all a ploy. Her phone privileges came with strict limits, no calling Mommy or Daddy at work, no phone before homework, but there weren’t any rules about Maze. Maze was sort of by definition ruleless.

There was a lot of background noise when Maze picked up, but also her voice, clearly amused. “Hey.”

“Hi, Maze.” Trixie said in the soft tones of a child up past her bedtime and considering the pros versus cons of crying, “Amani won’t let me stay home to wait for my mom, and also she doesn’t think you’re really a demon. Can you tell her you are? Please?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, club music blaring. Finally Maze spoke, still sounding like she’d just heard a very funny joke. “I’m at work but it is a bit slow. Sure, put me on with your babysitter. I’ll talk her around to your point of view.”

Amani was handed the phone. “Hi-” she started, then fell silent as Maze talked, and talked, and talked some more. After a time Amani squeaked out a reply of some sorts and dropped the phone.

“Did Maze tell you?” Trixie asked.

“S-something like that.” Amani said. “How about we forget about bedtime and sit up for a while. Can I put this by the fireplace?”

Trixie nodded, delighted and somewhat surprised that her plan had worked.

Amani tossed the phone over towards the hearth, where it would be in plain sight, and climbed up on the couch, keeping a bit of distance between Trixie and herself.

 

 

“She asked me if I knew someone named Maze and said if I didn’t I might want to get Trixie’s phone exorcized. She looked terrified!”

Lucifer nodded. “Yes, that does sound like Maze. I’m not sure what you want me to do, though. It wasn’t me this time.”

Chloe brought her hand to her forehead. “It’s not funny. Amani hasn’t answered any of my calls since then. If you and your minion of evil can stop scaring off babysitters, I’d appreciate it.”

Lucifer tapped the desk. “No promises. But if it will stop you from railing on about it, I’ll talk to her.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Sorry ma’am.” Emily said. “But I was expressly told not to leave for anyone but Ms. Decker or her husband.”

Penelope Decker had played several villains over the course of her career. She knew how to glare imperiously. “Honestly, what was Chloe thinking? She knew I was coming home.”

Emily was a well raised Southern girl, so she didn’t make a smart comment about what Mrs. Decker could have been thinking. “Sorry. Nothing personal, I really love your movies. But I’m just doing what I was told to.”

That seemed to pacify Penelope somewhat. “Of course, dear. Just let me sit down, long flight.”

Trixie hurdled out of her room and into her grandmother, effectively distracting everyone. Once she was safely back in her room- with two days of makeup homework thanks to a recent bout of strep- Penelope Decker could turn her attention to the young woman in the room.

“So, you’re an actress then?”

Emily looked up from her phone, surprised. “Yeah. I mean, I’m trying to be.”

Penelope nodded. “I’ve seen it before. New Mexico?”

“Texas.” Emily gnawed at her upper lip. Penelope Decker wasn’t exactly A-List, but she was something of a legend in her own way. Princess of Pluto, her big break sci fi romance, was a sleepover favorite, thanks to the the breathy sighs, terrible special effects, and ridiculous attractive male hero. “Mrs. Decker-”

“Call me Penny. Mrs. Decker sounds so dignified.”

With her fluffy blonde hair and tank top, Penelope Decker definitely wasn’t dignified. But there was something controlled about her, an intelligence behind the idleness.

“Penny, then.” Emily felt a strip of skin tear away from her lip, and she hoped it wouldn’t bleed. “I was wondering, if you had any tips?” She knew she sounded uncertain, unprofessional even.

Fortunately Penny smiled. “Oh, yes. I love helping young people just getting into the biz.” The stretched sound of the ‘z’ suggested a verbal shimmy. “Ask me whatever you like, dear.”

“How do you do it?” Emily asked. “I mean, make it? I don’t know, I just feel like there must be some trick.”

She’d planned carefully, gotten the best agent and a job for the interim. She’d expected some wait, but it had been nearly a year that she had been babysitting and stocking shelves at a grocery and sleeping on a friend’s couch and going to useless auditions.

Penelope Decker rested her chin on her hand. “It’s all about charm. You can be the best in the world but unless you have personality you’re not going to get the job. You’re selling yourself, as a person, to represent the project. You seem a bit bland, dear.”

“That’s not a nice thing to say.” Emily found herself saying, the words flimsy as tissue paper.

“It’s not a nice world.” Penny told her, almost kindly. “Especially here. LA will eat a sweet girl like you up.”

She reached out as if to pinch Emily’s cheeks and Emily batted her away irately. She had signed up for a quiet eight year old, not an opinionated grandmother. She turned to her phone, looking for solace. Sadly Penny Decker didn’t seem to be good at shutting up.

“Sorry, did I offend you? I didn’t mean it. It’s only that you’re such a quiet little thing. Admittedly your looks are more in style now, when I was your age it was awful. So many of my friends couldn’t get lead roles.”  
Emily looked at Trixie’s door hopefully but it was closed.

“Your manners leave something to be desired too. I mean, you can get away with being rude here but you have to do it with style. And you’re a bit short, some heels might help.”

Emily dug her nails into her hand and stared blankly at her lock screen, trying to ignore thoughts of failed fame and fortune and her mother’s ‘I told you sos’.

“Have you tried local commercial work?” Penny asked.

“I’m sorry,” Emily said, which was a lie, “I asked for your help. I regret it deeply now. Can we just sit?”

“Well, with that sort of temperament, you’ll never make it in show business. You might as well pack up now.” It was a stupid old lady comment, mindlessly mean but not maliciously meant. It was also the last straw.

Emily couldn’t stand it, the idea of it, the way Penny’s words seemed to stab at her heart. She stood up, planning on going to the other side of the room.

“Running away from your problems only works if you run away with the producer.” Penelope said, not overly loudly, but loudly enough. Emily broke.

She ran for the door and slammed it behind her, the noise resonated through the house. Penelope watched it for a while, until Trixie poked her head out of her doorway.

“What was that?”

“I’m not sure. I think your babysitter got upset about something.” Penelope said, looking befuddled. She recovered fast. “Now that she’s gone how would you like to go out with Nana for ice cream?”

“I still have homework.” Trixie said, testing the waters. “And I don’t think mommy will be happy.”

“We’ll get back with plenty of time to spare.” Penny promised.

A smile spread over Trixie’s face.

 

Chloe slammed her hands down on the black marble top of Lucifer’s bar.

“I have two cases to close and I need to not see my mother for the next five days or I will strangle her.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask.” Lucifer said. “Key word being almost. What is your mother up to? Bet I have you beat.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Oh, hello there.” Lucifer smiled. “Unexpected but not unwelcome.”

The young man standing in the doorway of the Decker’s home blinked. “Hi. You weren’t on my list.”

“I assume you’re one of the many babysitters.” Lucifer said, taking an automatic step away from the door in case Trixie should appear around a corner. “Is Chloe home? She’s not answering her phone.”

“She has training, I think.” the young man said. “I’m supposed to wait until Trixie comes home from camp. Do you know her?”

“Well that just makes my day.” Lucifer muttered darkly. “As a matter of fact I do. We work together. Sometimes. When will she be back?”

“Dunno.”

There was a flash of white teeth, that could not be legally deemed a smile. “Fantastic. Well, I’ll just slip through here then.”

He attempted to shimmy past the boy in the door, who jumped away to make room for him, even as he said, “Uh, I’m not sure you’re supposed to be here.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be quiet as a mouse. Also, if there’s a blinding flash of light and a heavenly figure descends, you need to hide.” Lucifer threw himself on the couch. He seemed to be exuding his own gloom and inequity, making the clean front room look slightly disreputable, just with a glower.

“Look, it’s almost an hour until Trixie gets home and I don’t know about my-”

Lucifer held up a finger. “Shshshhh. I need to talk to Chloe as soon as possible and that’s final. In the meantime, I’m sure we can find something else to do.”

The poor lad blushed.

 

“I cannot believe you tried to sleep with Dan’s cousin!” Chloe whispered in a remarkably piercing way.

“I can’t believe Dan is related to all that.” Lucifer said. He looked like a child who had just been told jell-o was made of bones, or that veal was baby cow.

“In my living room?” Chloe hissed.

“Look, if it’s any consolation, I was fuming. No one can resist that, except you obviously. And even then we only got to first base. He’s rather shy. Sweet though, for Dan’s cousin.” The look of disgust crossed Lucifer’s face again.

Chloe’s entire face pinched up. “Did the name Matt Espinoza not tip you off?”

“You see, we didn’t actually get around to exchanging names…..” Lucifer’s mouth snapped shut at Chloe’s expression.

“He’s only here for the week because to visit a friend! What am I going to tell his mother?”

“That he;s not the only beleaguered caretaker to fall for my charms?”

Chloe slid onto a bar stool so she could glower from a seated position. “Right. I forgot about the other babysitter you seduced. She had really good rates too. I’m running out of options, Lucifer. That’s why Matt agreed to help if my training day ran long in the first place! Now he’s sitting on my bed in what I think is literal shock, and you are still in my house.”

“Right, about that, family drama might have escalated, apartment might be trashed. Would it be too much to ask if I could crash on your couch?” Lucifer was the master of giving it a shot, but he thought this one was long even for him.

Chloe shook her head. “No, you see, I already have someone on the couch. You might recognize him, your tongue was down his throat a little while ago.” She looked at Lucifer, who almost seemed helpless, and let her breath whistle through her teeth. “Trixie comes home in about ten minutes. Here’s my credit card, book a hotel room. Call me in the morning so I know you’re alive.”

“Right. Well. Thanks.” Lucifer stopped in the middle of the tile floor. “In the future, would you mind labelling the ones related to Dan?”

“Lucifer, I love you, but you need to leave now.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Detective Decker, meet Haley. Haley, Detective Decker.”

Haley waved. Chloe looked unimpressed. “Sorry, but is there a point to this?”

Lucifer folded his hands behind his back. “I know that you’re terribly upset about not having enough people to look after your daughter after-”

“You chased them all away, yes, continue.”

Lucifer balked. This clearly was not a good day. He cleared his throat and ventured carefully forward. “And I recognize that might have been difficult for you. And Haley needs a day job and she’s actually very professional and apparently good with children.”

“How do you know a babysitter?” Chloe asked, then thought about for a second. “And she works at your club, doesn’t she?”

“Only part time now.” Haley said helpfully. “I’m not supposed to be on my feet too long anymore, messed up something in my hip.”

“Look, Lucifer, this actually very sweet, by your standards, but I’m not sure this is what I’m looking for in a babysitter.” She glanced at Haley, “No offense meant.”

Haley shifted, glanced at Lucifer and then at Chloe. She had a sweet, unassuming face and body full of muscles. “Kind of offense taken? Seriously, this was my job all through high school. I do tutoring too.”

Chloe looked from Lucifer’s beaming face to Haley’s tentative smile.

She sighed. “How much do you charge?”

 

 

 


End file.
